


Different Kinds of Stomach Bugs

by VoldyIsMyFather



Series: Iron Man and Brightest Witch, Weasley Wizard Wheezes Edition [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 22:57:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20882057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoldyIsMyFather/pseuds/VoldyIsMyFather
Summary: Tony wishes to avoid a Charity Gala that his fiancée is unable to attend. He needs a valid excuse, hence a trip to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes to look at their Skiving SnackboxesSet after Pygmy Puffs Loose in The Avenger Tower (which was written for last years MMFBingo)





	Different Kinds of Stomach Bugs

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Marvelously Magical Bingo 2019  
Square: B3 'Puking Pastilles'

Tony made his way down the busy cobbled street, his expensive muggle suit stood out against the robes worn by most of the other patrons. Tony never understood why parents left back to school shopping to the last minute. The Ilvermorny letters had gone out at the beginning of August, so they had had plenty of time to get everything. He understood why Clint and Laura were going today with Cooper, as Clint had been on a mission until only a couple of days ago and they had wanted to all go together. Hermione had planned to show them around, but she was currently poorly in bed, hence his trip to Emrys Street. His fiancée was too poorly to attend the benefit gala tomorrow, and he needed an excuse to get out of it, Hermione was refusing to allow him not to go because she was poorly, so he was hoping the twins had something that could help. He was lucky that he had an excuse for wanting to go with the Barton’s on their trip, Hermione wanted Sugar Quills and wasn’t taking a no for an answer, for someone who was poorly she was pretty demanding of sugary treats.

Tony sighed as he ducked into the familiar purple store, that he hadn’t visited since he’d brought the gang the Avenger’s care kits, he’d been busy planning his wedding so hadn’t had a chance to visit. It didn’t help that he needed Hermione to enter the street, or another Witch or Wizard, and she wasn’t keen on bringing him back. He was lucky that one of the Professor’s at Ilvermorny was showing Clint and his family around in Hermione’s absence.

“Hey Stark,” a familiar voice called out to his right.

Tony turned around and saw one of the twins stood before him, his hands full of products. “Hey, George,” he greeted the man.

“I’m Fred,” the man responded.

“And I’m Captain America,” Tony quipped, knowing full well it was George before him, he had gotten JARVIS to analyse the Twins behaviour whenever they popped over for a visit. While the twins were identical, there was slight differences in their behaviours, including which foot they favoured when walking and other mannerisms. When he had pointed out to this to Hermione, she had informed him she already knew.

“How can you tell us apart?” George queried the billionaire.

“I’m a genius,” Tony grinned

“JARVIS?” George asked, having met the clever AI in the New Year when Tony had held a New Years Eve party and had played the reactions the Avenger’s had to the Pygmy Puffs. Everyone took great delight in playing Tony’s over and over again.

“He helped,” Tony commented begrudgingly.

“What brings you to our humble store?” George asked finally, “Hermione, not with you?”

“She’s still poorly with this stomach bug,” Tony complained, “And I have to attend this benefit gala alone, as she won’t let me stay at home.”

“You need something to get out of it then?” George checked.

“Yeah,” Tony nodded, “I am hoping you have something useful, or that can fake an illness.”

“I have just the thing,” George grinned, “Let me put these away, and I will sort you out.”

“Thanks, man,” Tony replied.

Tony watched as George manoeuvred around the shelves and customers with ease and grace, stopping occasionally to place a product on a shelf.

“Hey handsome,” a female voice greeted him.

Tony looked around and found a female employee stood behind the counter looking at him appraisingly, “George is helping me,” he responded detachedly. He hoped the woman would get the hint and leave him be.

“I bet I can help you in more ways than George,” she winked at him.

Tony growled angrily, “I’m not interested sweetheart.”

“I could rock your world,” she leaned forward over the counter, displaying the tops of her breasts.

He kept his eyes on the spot above her head, before retorting “My fiancée does more than rock my world.”

“Hey Tony, everything ok,” George asked as he returned, sensing his friend’s discomfort.

“Just your employee not getting the hint that I’m not interested,” Tony groaned, “Come on, show me the merch.”

“Oi Bianca,” George hissed at his employee, “Stop flirting with customers, especially the ones that are engaged to my family members.”

Bianca’s eyes went wide at the comment, “Sorry Sir,” she grumbled her apology.

Tony followed George as he led him to a section labelled Skiving Snackboxes.

“Skiving Snackbox?” Tony queried, unsure of how this could help.

“Products that make you sick to skip a lesson,” George smirked, “Hermione used to tell us off for testing these on first years.”

“So, they make me physically ill?” Tony checked, “I don’t want to actually be ill.”

“That’s the beauty of it, one half of the sweet makes you ill, then once you have gotten out of whatever it is you want to get out of, you take the other half and voila instantly better,” George explained.

“So, what ‘illnesses’ can I get?” Tony questioned, stating the word illness matched with air quotes.

“Well Nosebleed Nougats give you a nosebleed which probably isn’t enough to get you out of going to the gala,” George offered, “You probably want a fainting fancy, a fever fudge or a puking pastille.”

“Puking Pastille will make me sick, right?” Tony checked.

“Yeah,” George confirmed.

“Brilliant,” Tony smiled at the businessman, “I can just claim to have caught whatever Hermione’s got.”

“Unfortunately, we don’t sell them individually, but I am sure you will find the rest of the products useful,” George cheekily informed Tony.

“I am sure I will need to get out of a board meeting at some point,” Tony agreed, “How much for a box?”

“Five Galleons,” George informed his friend.

“I don’t have any galleons,” Tony sighed, “I only had enough to buy Hermione her sugar quills, I can give you American dollars if you want?”

“I don’t know the current exchange rate,” George sighed dejectedly.

“Me neither, I think its normally a few dollars to a galleon,“ Tony commented, “ I think if I give you a hundred dollars it should be enough to cover it, if not I will give you the rest.”

“Sure,” George relucted, “I know you are good for it.”

“Right I best be off,” Tony commented as he checked his watch, “I am due to meet Birdbrain in five minutes outside The Wonky Hat, I am treating him and his family for lunch.”

“Have a nice day, Stark,” George responded, “I hope you get out of the gala.”

“Me too,” Tony shook George’s hand before leaving.

Tony held his head over the toilet as he emptied the contents of his stomach.

“Tony?” his fiancée’s voice called out from the other side of the door, “Are you ok in there?”

“I think I have your stomach bug,” Tony replied, before throwing up again.

“I will get you a glass of water,” she responded.

After a few seconds, Tony heard the door unlock, and he turned his head to see her standing before him dressed in his ACDC t-shirt and a pair of blue shorts.

“Here you go Tony,” Hermione stated softly as she handed him the glass of water, “Small sips.”

Tony nodded, and slowly sipped the water, “Can you give me some space to clean up?” he asked as he put the water on the counter.

“Sure,” his witch nodded, though the look she sent him was one that made him think that she knew exactly what he was doing.

Once she left the bathroom, Tony took the second sweet out of his pocket and chewed on it before swallowing. Instantly he felt better, “Brilliant,” he grinned to himself and made a mental note to invest in the twins’ shop. He flushed the toilet before washing his face and brushing his teeth. He exited the bathroom feeling fresh and was greeted by the sight of Hermione sat at the end of their bed.

“Feeling better?” she asked, her eyebrows raised.

“A bit,” he nodded, “Nasty bug, I will get Pepper to let them know I won't be going this evening.”

“I don’t think you caught what I have Tony,” Hermione sighed.

“Same symptoms,” Tony stated.

“You cannot catch what I have,” Hermione stated as if she had some witches only ailment.

“Why not?” the billionaire queried.

“I’m not sick, Tony,” Hermione mumbled twiddling her thumbs, “I’m pregnant.”

“Pregnant,” Tony spluttered in shock.

“I know we aren’t married,” his fiancée started but was cut off as Tony had stepped across the room and pressed his lips firmly against hers.

“I’m going to be a father!” Tony declared lifting Hermione up and spinning her around in his arms.

“Yes,” Hermione answered, “Now mind telling me why the twins have given you Skiving Snackboxes, Mr Stark?”


End file.
